twoyous

“What inspires you?”

When I hear that question, I feel like the answer has to be profound. I can’t answer it on the fly. But going through my day-to-day, I find the answer, or rather the feeling, on occasion. I’m trying to capture it and keep it close.

I find that I am awe-struck by some performances I see on the talent competitions I get a front seat to, from my couch. I’ve watched very few with regularity over the years. Like, zero to two, any given television season. Lucky for me, YouTube lets me hunt & binge my favorites. (Yes. I *just* figured out I can watch YouTube on my television.)

I am captured by the moments in the participant performances that give me chills. The moments you feel the person reach into their soul and pull forth everything they feel and believe, and they put it out there: right where the audience can see it, can judge it, can embrace it or can stomp on it.

That’s terrifying! Terrifying & beautiful vulnerability. Everyone is watching. There is no hiding. Yet the person cannot contain their passion and just has to release it. That means performing & that means before an audience. Openly sharing something that is part of them, with strangers, and hoping they just might connect with someone; that someone might see, hear, feel, understand, appreciate, that which is so meaningful to them.

Woo! I am exhausted just thinking about it!

Amidst a round of said binging, complete with chills, I thought: these people are sharing their talent on the world’s biggest stage. No hiding in safety… like behind a computer screen… like from the safety of home…like choosing exactly what to share after lots of attempts and editing…yup, you guessed it: like me…like, right here. Mind. Blown. <poof>

What could be safer for a would-be author, than sharing a little piece of writing in my little nook of the vast internet, that others might read, or, might not? What if I just put a little post out there on a little blog, satisfying my little dream, just a little bit?

It’s a calculated risk; but what if taking that risk succeeds in bringing me happiness, merely by doing it – not for anyone else, but just for me. Doing or sharing the thing that lives in my soul & just wants to get out for a little peek at the world.

What is it that you wish you could do?

Something you’ve always dreamed of, or something you’ve just discovered?

 Something you’ve locked away in a very safe & cozy place?

I wanna be Kung Fu fighting fast as lightning! I want to fire a bow with precision . I want to be the hometown karaoke champion. I want to be an amazing corporate trainer every company seeks to hire & become the next TED talks star. I want to be fluent in Spanish. I want to craft the coolest things & have awesome IG posts. I want to write the sneaky blog post that strikes a chord with a baffling number of unsuspecting readers & blooms into a book!

So, friends, what is it that you or I, we mere humans, can do?

What is something that can safely move us a little step in the direction of our dreams?

Well, I might try a cardio kickboxing class. Or go to that indoor archery range two towns over, where hey – no one knows me, so if I stink, who cares?! I could volunteer to do that presentation at work. Maybe I will create a public IG account that just I and its three followers know about. Maybe I will be brave enough to publish & share this blog post .

My friends, after we take a small step or two, we can try for bigger. It does not have to be masterful or profound. And even if we do this only for ourselves, if we share with one friend or none, we could set our souls free.

And now, I get it:

     There is freedom waiting for you,
     On the breezes of the sky,
     And you ask “What if I fall?”
     Oh but my darling,
     What if you fly?

     ~ Erin Hanson

Rooting for you to join me in taking small steps in the direction of our dreams…

Your pal,
Amanda

Figuring out where to start is tricky. There are so many questions…do I begin here, or there; do I start now; am I even ready to begin? Are others watching; are they waiting for me; will anyone notice; does it matter if anyone notices? In the end, I suppose, the one to whom it matters most, is our self. So, Self…how about we begin?

As human beings, we are out there in the world, many of us growing up with the idea that one day we will marry someone we love and have a family. Girls seem to grow up planning their weddings a la Disney fairy tale. Boys…I don’t know what boys typically dream of or expect! I can tell you that, for some reason unbeknownst to me, I didn’t ponder those things all too much. In high school I predicted I’d be a teacher or psychologist, I’d write an amazing book or ten and be a guest on Oprah. I would have a house with a stream in the back yard and the yard would be lined with nine dog houses for my nine dogs (no; no idea why nine dogs). Eventually, I might adopt a child – a 12 year old boy. Why is that? Well, big kids need a forever home, too, and that’s a tough age even in a perfect world.

Today, I am married to the person meant to be my human. We started planning our wedding once we were engaged; i.e. didn’t ever think about it a minute sooner. We have a couple of cats; dogs are lovable but too high maintenance. Kids could have been in the mix but it didn’t turn out that way, which we are okay with. We have many amazing children in our lives and it’s a thrill to watch them grow, change and work towards the adults they will become. The two of us are certainly not miserly but do live well within our means. We have a 1950s cape and are glad to have, “only,” 1400 square feet to attempt to maintain and just about an acre of land to keep in shape.

I remember that when I had my first apartment, I was out shopping with my mom when I remarked that I wished there was a magazine dedicated to apartment living: small spaces, rented spaces that you cannot alter but dress up, and style that is attainable to one living in an apartment on an apartment budget. (You are correct. This was pre-ApartmentTherapy.com.) Everything out there seemed to be about styling the fairy tale house with a fairy tale budget. Living in a small home, I still find that magazines feature the fairy tales over real life.

Women’s magazines boast style, wardrobe choices, product reviews, brands to love. I don’t know about you, but I am not going to buy that $300 shirt or the $600 shoes. And even if I could, why would I? Sure there are some magazines that show real world choices, but the 80/20 rule definitely applies, here. Please: show me something I’ll actually find at a store near me, purchase and wear to a regular ol’ work or family event.

When we, as people, look out into the world, we want to find ourselves out there – we want to see ourselves in the pages of a magazine; we want to see ourselves in the story we binge watch on Netflix or catch at the movies. We want to see ourselves reflected back at us and we want to find that thing that makes us think: Yes! THIS is totally me! This story, this thing, is totally me, my style, my kind of thing, the thing that I’m after, too!

Where am I, world? Who out there knows me? Surely I am not so unique on this planet that I cannot find myself in the beautiful glossy pages of the magazines I so love to peruse for hours on end in Barnes & Noble.  Where is the magazine about the girl who works full time, is not a travelling blogger or entrepreneur, who is not furnishing a palatial home, who is not feeding a family of five or homeschooling three children? Where’s the gal who is not drinking wine while trolling the web for $600 shoes while planning a themed party with handmade decorations and spectacular hors d’oeuvres?

Sure there are some magazines I love and a few websites I really dig – I’ll tell you about them sometime. However, since I can only find these things by seriously reaching back to my hunter-gatherer genes, I decided it’s time to create my own place. And so, Self, here I am. Right here. I hope the 20, of the proverbial 80/20, will find a home here, too – and maybe some of the 80 will see a bit of themselves here in this little place. This place may not be full of fairy tale glamour – but I hope it will be filled with the wonder of, “real life.”

I hope you find this place welcoming, new friends. It will be here for you, and you can stop in anytime you like. It can be your place, too.

Hello friends!

This brand new blog is just coming into being. Here’s a little note about what TwoYous hopes to bring to the table…

The internet hosts an amazing world that allows us to reach out and connect with people all over the globe. While there are millions of blogs out there, I still find it challenging to discover just the right niche of authors speaking to the little bucket I fall into: someone beyond 20 or 30-something <yikes!>, with a full time office job <ack!>, married, but without children <gasp!>, living in what’s considered these days to be a small house – not to be confused with the trendy, “tiny house,” <hrmph!>.

Enter: TwoYous.com. Will this be the blog of a cranky old lady in a dilapidated house grumbling about her cats? Or maybe the witch from Hansel & Gretel? No way!!!

I am a Pinterest addict, a procrastinating perfectionist, a bungler of work-life-balance,  a Bitmoji bandit and I totally slap my knee when I crack myself up (like I did just now).  My husband is my best friend, partner in crime and absolutely my partner in life. We have two zany felines – so there is a real risk of grumbling about cats. I am the second oldest (fourth youngest) child of my Brady Bunch family of various parents and lovable siblings. I truly believe that friends are the family we choose, and whether they know it or not, those friends are stuck with me because they help me to be my best and have seen me at my worst.

When you visit again, look for an ordinary average gal reaching out to share musings, stories of friendship and family, real life attempts at those challenges and trends people make look so perfectly pretty on Pinterest and some risk-taking posts sharing imperfections and my harrowing attempts to become more accepting of them.

Welcome to TwoYous: Life in progress. Hope you’ll  join me in this little niche of the interwebisphere.

Be well, my new friends!

Amanda